A Return to Love & A Return to Prayer

Two of my top favorite books of all time are “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles” and, “Illuminata: A Return to Prayer”, both by Marianne Williamson. The core tenets of “A Course in Miracles” include:

  1. Love is real. It’s an eternal creation and nothing can destroy it.
  2. Anything that isn’t love is an illusion.
  3. Remember this, and you’ll be at peace.

Shifting from fear to love, is simply a shift in perception. When we do this, we experience a miracle.

It takes practice!

Prayer is what has carried me through everything in my life, and will continue to do so until it’s time for me to leave here. Right now, we are all reflecting, asking how we can do better.  We can and we will. I want to share a beautiful prayer for our country and give some context as to how my posts have shifted recently from mindset, health, and spiritual topics to advocacy, stewardship, and a realization that I strongly identfy with Patrick Henry’s “Give me liberty or give me death” speech as I feel my, my kids, and our others’ personal freedom have been infringed upon since the “pandemic”.

The angst and heartbreak, the disullionment and the anger, that so many have been waking up to these last couple of months during quarantine, and the violence and unrest happening as a result of George Floyd’s death – I feel those feelings every day. I feel sad, enraged, confused, and at a loss a great deal of the time because I have always been super sensitive and simply can’t stand suffering of any sort. And there is a lot of suffering going on here in this country and globally. And so, instead of curlng up a ball and feeling like a powerless victim and certain that we are all going to hell in a handbasket, I recognize that is my ego talking, Our ego exists to protect us. But we can change our state, and shift to love by catching ourselves in the act, and making love a conscious choice.

Because I have a strong faith, am an eternal optimist, and committed to fulfillment of my potential and supporting others in their own self-realization, most people are unaware of the heaviness and literal ache in my heart that is kind of always there. I aspire to be positive, kind, uplifting, and encouraging in my dealings each day with my family, friends, colleagues, community, and online family and do my best to show up that way, but I hurt inside.

Over the last 3 months, I have gotten more vocal on social media about the causes and issues that concern me most gravely – the incomprehensible, increasing epidemic crime agains humanity that is human trafficking. And child sexual exploitation even more specifically.

I thought for sure that once I started sharing the alarming statistics around buying and selling children for sex in this country and worldwide that everyone would be up in arms. When I expressed privately to friends and family that I didn’t understand why people, and most especially parents, were not FREAKING OUT about this issue, along with the 800,00 children that go missing each year in the US, and the profileration of “Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM)” (child pornography), rampant pedophilia, and elite politicians, actors, priests, to school principals, teachers, and fathers in our society being called out for having sex with kids, I can see the judgement I’m  projecting onto others, and realize I have more work to do on myself. I also have to be aware of the disempowering matra I picked up from mom when she was in her own flight mode made I was a child, which is, “I’m not cut out for this”.

This is the phrase that comes into my head whenever I get into massive overwhelm, sadness, or rage. My “flight” mechanism kicks in, because I don’t like fighting and conflict, so I basically say, “Peace out, I don’t have the stomach for this”. Certainly the people who love me and know me best, namely my kids and ex-husband, would be the first ones to tell you that given my extreme sensitivity, I’m probably not cut out for advocacy work, at least not on this topic.

Yet, here I am, finding myself on the frontlines, fighting for yet another cause (there are many), and realizing they all share a common theme: truth, liberty, and justice for all. Intriguing theme these last 3 months, and really the last 9 years, as I spiral down a rabbit hole of information that keeps pushing me back to the front of the pack, doing battle. Peacably, of course, because I can’t stand violence, name calling, and meaness. I wrote the word “hate”, but I don’t even like using that word, lol. I just keep saying to myself, “But I don’t want to fight”. Apparently, God has different plans for me 🙂

I have never identified myself with any particular political party and quite frankly, never even gave myself the time, space, or permission to truly think, research, and formulate my own solid opinions about the very wide range of issues that we face as a country. I most certainly would never post anything political on social media for obvious reasons even if I did.  I see what happens when people do that, and I don’t (didn’t think) I have the backbone, confidence, or, quite frankly balls, to alienate anyone in my community, have my intelligence or integrity questioned, or my business affected, because like it or not, if you post your views that are not in line with what “your friends” believe, some will turn on you when they know your views on certain topics, unfriend you, call you names, and yes, even wish ill on you and your family (yep, happened with a recruiting friend when I merely posted a petition on Facebook to Re-Open CT).

Apparently, this is a price I am willing to pay in order to finally own what I think and feel safe to express it without fear of repercussion, judgement, or alienation. Or should I say, in spite of it. I’ve accepted that as a natural consequence of speaking my truth. It’s taken me four decades to get to this place, but better late than never!

I have gotten braver since the shutdown in terms of  sharing information on a range of topics encouraging people to do research to at least explore a different perspective than the one we may currently have. Topics I wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole, I don’t hesisate to share now. There’s still room for improvement, and I’m getting there 😉

I’ve always posted about subjects including the germ theory of disease, our body’s miraculous ability to heal itself naturally, atlternative healing options, the power of food & hydration around boosting our immune systems, and all topics that I relate to kindness toward the mind, body, and spirit, marriage and parenting, job vs. vocation, and affirming the profund impact of our words and actions on the life of another person, both positive and negative.

I have been more cautious around the vaccine topic, the toxic ingredients they cause, and the possible causation of the epidemic childhood diseases we have on our hands, along with the informed choice vs. mandatory vaccines for fear of being called an “anti-vaxxer”. I have also been insatiably curious about cancer prevention and alternative cancer treatments given its increasing prevalence in our world which keeps getting closer and closer to home for all of us long before my ex-husband was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2017. I have been profoundly affected by documentaries and books outlining the traditional medical establishement, pharmaceutical companies, and governement agencies, putting profits over people, and learning about real physicians and naturopaths practicing alternative medicine that do not incorporate chemotherapy being run out of business, credibility destroyed, and even being killed for not following “traditional” protocols. Of course, there have been some very curious “suicides” that resulted from these cases too. I would never share anything like that for fear of people feeling like I’m somehow judging their pursuit of a particular treatment (far from it) and being called a “conspiracy theorist”.

Alas, when it became evident that Bill Gates, WHO, CDC, and Big Pharma, who are all in bed together (the very common “revolving door” practice that exists between large corporations, lobbyists, and government agencies that are supposed to exist to protect our health and well-being), were so conveniently (curiously?) proactive about fast-tracking a vaccine for a pandemic that they actually predicted was coming, that they say will be mandatory, and have developed contract tracing app to support this effort, well, you can see I felt like I had NO CHOICE, but to become much more vocal on these topics, especially with the vaccine schedule that as gone from 7 in the 1970s to our current line up of 72, with more in the wings.

When I learned about the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986, which eliminated the potential financial liability of vaccine manufacturers due to vaccine injury and death – i.e. the NVICP was created to provide a federal no-fault system for compensating vaccine-related injuries or death because they were losing money withall the payouts to families. Talk to a parent whose child went from “perfectly healthy” to neurologically impaired, or worse, died, immediately following (within 24-72 hours) of their child’s well visit.  Those parents are the ones people call “anti-vaxxers”.

We’ll talk about the rollout of 5G and how that impacts your health another time.

Topics I have not posted about in the past because, well how could I have, are the shutdown of our entire world, and the financial devastation that is resulting in our country, states, and towns, along with the inability for our kids to attend school, play sports, celebrate milestone lifetime occasions like graduations, marriage, birthdays, and even more heartbreaking, robbing people of spending the final hours here on earth with the people they love, and leaving those people to die alone. And then there are the people with serious illnesses like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes who are either not getting the treatment they need, or going through surgeries and treatments alone.

It may be obvious at this juncture that we don’t need to talk about mandating the senseless use of masks for those who are healthy, and p.s. don’t even work, in the large chain stores while local retail businesses are closing up shop, small businesses are facing bankruptcy, and salons, barber shops, gyms, and churches remain closed 2.5 months into thing in some states.

For someone who is “known for kindness” in her community and spreading positivity, I suppose I sound a bit pissed off. Guess what? I am!!

When I share information on social media, however, it’s respectful in the form of an introduction to an article or video that has influenced me in a profound enough way that I actually feel, honestly, an obligation to share, so people can do their own research. I often share a caveat, as I have over the years, to not take anyone’s word for anything. Do the research on both sides of an issue, apply critical thinking, and decide what is true for you.

Because I have always been a “truth seeker”, I have what feels like an almost ravinous appetite for information that will help me gain clarity around a particular topic. I do not call names, uses lables, nor am I condescending or self-righteous or claim to have all the answers. God knows I don’t. I don’t judge my friends or ridicule them for having different viewpoints than I do, and I don’t let our differing opinions affect our friendships.

Because this eager-to-please, conflict-avoider, “kindness girl” hates to ruffle feathers or piss people off, or God forbid, have someone think something about me that I don’t believe is in alignment with my true nature, I have to be pushed very far for a very prolonged period of time, before I finally sit down to write a piece like this.

So for all the people who are asking, “What’s going on with you?”, “You are usually so positive”, “Are you OK?”, “Did something happen to you?”, of “I’m concerned about you”, accompanied by mild to strong “cautioning” to “be careful what I post” so as to not upset the apple cart, here is my answer:

I’m the same old Veronica that you’ve known or have been connected to from the beginning. The truth is, since having kids, I haven’t been able to stay under the spell of the cultural conditioning that shaped me up until the age of 40. I have had to unlearn much of what I have been taught to believe, and it sucks ass.

It started with learning about this corruption, greed, and negligence by the food companies and “trusted” brands I grew up on, to learning about the toxic chemicals and ingredients in our skin, make-up, and household cleaning products, to learning about Monsanto, and their parent company Bayer (go figure!) and their poisonous RoundUp  and RangePro Weed Killer that causes cancer.

Then it was a severe vaccine reaction my daughter had when she received her 6 week immunizations that caused me to start researching that topic in 2008.

Then I moved on too learning about the factory farms that dominate the US food production, employing horrificly abusive practices that maximize agribusiness profits at the expense of our health, the environment, animal welfare, and our communities. If you ever visited one of these hell holes, you would consume much less meat and dairy then you do now if at all, no matter how much you love a good steak.

Then there’s the heartbreaking reality of homelessness and hunger that exists in the US alone.  I had never really been exposed to homelessness having grown up in affluent Fairfield County, CT. When I started traveling for work in my 40s, I was stunned by the number of people sleeping on the streets when I would go for an early morning run in cities like LA, DC, and San Francisco.

I can’t run or walk by someone who doesn’t have a place to live or enough food to eat, so I have been talking to people who are homeless over the years to learn about their stories. Firstly, to show them that I see them, and I love them, and find out how I can help, and secondly to understand what tragedy or series of unfortunate circumstances leads to losing everything and not having a home. It turns out, it’s usually preceded by a traumatic event, stacking trauma upon trauma – a serious illness, a loss of a loved one, losing a job, addiction, mental illness, an apartment fire, or some combination of these things. Yet, people walk by them all day, making assumptions about how they got to begging for enough money to eat and judging them to boot.

We need to do better America.

I suppose it was inevitable that I’d end up back on the topic of abolishing the modern day slavery that is is taking place under our very noses and behind our iphones and laptops while we are on the topic of Black lives mattering. Of course they do. So do Native American Lives, Asian Lives Matters, and White Lives. And please don’t tell me I’m missing the point about the BLM movement. I’m not. I get it. And anyone who knows me will reiterate that. I went to an event last Saturday that was honoring George Flloyd because what happened to him hurt my heart and I wanted to honor him and experience solidarity for people in our community. I simply encourage people to be aware of the media narrative around this topic, police brutality (again, I understand it exists), and this angst and unrest you are seeing on TV, yet if you really stop and think about it, maybe really don’t experience in your day-to-day interactions with one another.

All lives truly do matter and we are all on the same side. We share the same desires – to love and be loved, for that is what we are. 

While we are realizing that our voices matter, let’s all agree that preventing the daily rape of humans and children matters and protecting our kids from harm and trauma and mental illness and addiction matter and helping the ones who’ve have survived these things matter.

Everything matters. Everyone matters.

We have to do better America.

These are not politial party issues. There are humanitarian and health issues that affect all of us. We truly are one, regardless of who you vote for.

Give yourself the time and space to reflect, journal, read, research, watch, and observe to discover the truth. Your truth. And have the courage to tell your truth without fear of rejection, or well in spite of it. The more you learn to love yourself and realize that you know the truth about you, the less you need to prove whatever that is to others .

Let’s ease up on the judgement and the labels and amp up the muscle to question, the desire to understand, and the commitment to radiate unconditional love to all people, regardless of political affiliation, race, zip code, or religion.

Anything other than love is an illusion. That is the peaceful place we need to live in.

We individually and collectively have the power to affect change. It’s simply a decision. The decision involves taking action around the causes and concerns you care about.  If you don’t like something, say something. If you don’t like something, do something.

Let’s unite this great country and advocate peacfully so we can each play a role in being sacred stewards of our children, one another, the animals, and our earth, aspiring to live from a space of “Do No Harm” and “Love is all there is”.

Let’s pray for the healing of America.

Dear God,

We join in prayer to celebrate this nation and surrender its destiny to You.

We give thanks in our hearts for the founding of this country.

We give thanks for and bless the souls of those who came before us to found this nation, to nurture and to save it.

We ask that God’s spirit now fill our hearts with righteousness.

May we play our parts in the healing and the furtherance of our country.

May we be cleared of all desstructive thoughts.

May judgement of others, bigotry, racism, and intolearnce be washed clean from our hearts.

May our minds be filled with the hearts of God.

His unconditional love and acceptance of all people.

May this nation be forgiven its trangressions against the African Americans, the Native Americans, the nation of Vietnam, our men and women who should never have suffered or died there, and any and all others.

May we learn from our mistakes, that the people who have died from them shall not have died in vain.

May our lives be turned into instruments of ressurection, that the sins of our fathers might be reveresed through us.

May the beauty and greatness of this land burst forth once more in the hearts of its people.

May the dreams of our forefathers be realized in us, that we might live in honesty and integrrity and excellence with our neighbors.

May this country once again become a light unto the nations of hope and goodness and peace and freedom.

May violence and darkness be cast out of our midst.

May hatred no longer find fertile ground in which to grow here.

May all of us feel God’s grace upon us.

Reignite, dear God, the spirit of truth in our hearts.

May our nation be given a new light, the sacred fire that onece shone so bright from shore to shore.

May we be repaired.

May we be forgiven.

May our children be blessed.

May we be renewed.

Dear God, please bless America.

Amen.